I posted something on Reddit recently about “job hugging”, and the replies have been fascinating.
If you haven’t heard the term, job hugging is the opposite of job hopping. It’s when someone wants to leave their job, but stays put because the risk of moving feels too high.
What interested me wasn’t the label itself. It was the honesty in the replies.
Some people said, basically, “Have you seen the market?”
Layoffs are everywhere. Bills still need paying. An okay job with stability feels a lot safer than chasing a better one and getting cut 3 months later.
Others said, “I’m hugging till I can hop.”
They’re done with their current employer, but they’re trying to be strategic. Waiting until after the holidays. Waiting until hiring picks up. Waiting until they have a little more cash, a stronger lead, or a better sense of direction.
There were also replies that were much harder to read.
People staying in toxic environments because they don’t believe they have a safer option.
People whose health is declining.
People who are crying before work, getting rejected over and over, or feeling completely trapped by a market that seems to punish any move.
That’s the part I want career coaches to really pay attention to.
“Job hugging” can sound cute, but a lot of what people are describing is anything but that.
Two things can be true:
Staying put can be a wise decision. And staying put can slowly wear someone down. Those are not the same coaching scenario.
This is where I think we need to get more precise.
When a client says, “I know I should leave, but I’m scared,” don’t rush past that. Don’t immediately jump to resume tweaks, networking targets, or a pep talk about confidence.
First, diagnose the hug.
Are they staying because they’ve made a clear-eyed decision based on money, benefits, flexibility, or family needs?
Are they staying because they’re building a runway and don’t want to make a panicked move?
Or are they staying because fear has turned into paralysis?
Those are 3 very different situations. And they need 3 very different coaching responses.
What coaches should listen for
If the client is making a strategic stay, help them own that choice.
Not every client needs to leap. Some need to stabilize, save money, finish a qualification, or quietly build a pipeline before they move. That isn’t weakness. That’s risk management.
If the client is in transition, help them create traction.
This is the “hugging till I can hop” group. They usually need structure like a shortlist of target roles, a networking plan or better outreach.
If the client is in harm, stop calling it patience.
When someone is describing harassment, discrimination, severe burnout, health decline, or daily dread, we need to be careful not to coach them into enduring more damage. That might mean focusing on documentation, boundaries, short-term safety, and referrals where appropriate.
Career coaching matters here, but so does scope of practice.
A question worth asking
Instead of asking a job hugger, “Why haven’t you left yet?”
Try this:
“What is this job still giving you, and what is it costing you now?”
That question tends to open things up fast.
I’ve noticed that clients often feel ashamed that they’re still there. They think staying means they’re weak, unmotivated, or settling.
Usually, that’s not what’s happening. They’re trying to protect something:
Income.
Health insurance.
Routine.
Their kids.
Their confidence.
Or even the version of themselves that still feels employable.
Our role is to help them tell the truth about the trade-off.
Not to shame them for staying.
Not to romanticise leaving.
And definitely not to confuse movement with progress.
Sometimes the bravest thing a client can do is stay long enough to build a smart exit.
Sometimes the bravest thing they can do is admit the job is doing real harm.
Either way, the work is the same: help them get honest, get clear, and get back some agency.
That Reddit thread was a good reminder for me.
People aren’t “job hugging” because they’re lazy. A lot of them are responding rationally to uncertainty, and some of them are hanging on far longer than they should because nobody has helped them separate caution from stuckness.
That’s where good career coaching comes in.
If you want to read the thread, it’s right here.
Until next week.
Heather
The Coach for Career Coaches
P.S.
If you want stronger tools, more confidence in your coaching, and a recognized credential to back up your work, the next Facilitating Career Development (FCD) cohort is now open.