How skilled facilitators keep everyone engaged

Quick question before today's newsletter: When was the last time you built a system to help you generate consistent outcomes for your coaching clients? My Confident Career Coach System course is built for that, and it comes with 10 CEUs. 

I remember my earliest group coaching session.

Unfortunately it’s not stuck in my memory because it went well. The session was derailed by two participants arguing about their job search journeys.

One person was very vocal about how difficult their experience had been. Another person challenged what they were saying. Before long, they were debating each other while everyone else watched.

I could feel the room becoming uncomfortable. 

I was uncomfortable too, but I didn’t know how to interrupt the exchange without making things worse, so I let it continue much longer than I should have.

The disagreement eventually ended.

The awkwardness didn’t.

That experience taught me something I still think about when I facilitate groups:

Great group coaching depends as much on managing the room as it does on knowing the topic.

You can prepare useful content, thoughtful exercises, and a clear agenda. But once one interaction begins controlling the room, your content can only take you so far.

People tend to assume roles when they enter a group.

There’s often:

These roles aren’t automatically a problem.

A quick responder can bring energy into a quiet room. A challenger can raise a question everyone else is thinking. 

The problem begins when one pattern starts shaping the experience for everyone.

As the facilitator, it’s important to pay attention to the person speaking and the people who have stopped speaking.

Are participants becoming quieter? 

Are they looking away? 

Are their answers getting shorter? 

In a virtual session, are cameras suddenly going off?

Those are all signs that the room may need you to step in.

After that early experience, I started watching group dynamics much sooner.

Who responds first? 

Who tends to challenge? 

Who hasn’t spoken yet? 

Who seems ready to contribute but keeps getting interrupted?

I also learned to intervene earlier. A light redirect at the beginning is much easier than trying to recover the room after participants have disengaged.

Redirecting someone doesn’t mean embarrassing or silencing them. 

For me, it’s about protecting the conditions that allow everyone to participate.

Here are 3 phrases you can use.

When one person is dominating:

“I’m going to pause us there so we can bring a few other perspectives into the conversation.”

Then follow with:

“Who has had a different experience?”

When two participants begin debating:

“You’re bringing up two different experiences. Let’s step back and look at what each one can teach the group.”

This moves the conversation away from deciding who is right and brings the rest of the group back in.

When the room goes quiet:

“Take 30 seconds to write down your response. Then we’ll hear from two or three people.”

When I started group coaching, I learned how to facilitate groups by facilitating groups. 

I made mistakes, evaluated what happened, and changed what I did the next time.

But it was a lot of trial and error. And a lot harder than it needed to be. 

Later, I learned that there were systems for understanding group dynamics. That knowledge would have saved me a lot of muddling through those early sessions.

Individual coaching experience gives you a valuable foundation. 

Group coaching demands a different approach and skillset: Reading several people at once, balancing participation, managing time, redirecting conflict, and adjusting the session while it’s happening.

Those are skills you can study and practice.

Heather

The Coach for Career Coaches