Behind every “What should I do?” is a client who’s forgotten how to hear their own voice.

One thing I see constantly, especially with clients in career transition, is a serious lack of self-trust.

It’s not that they’re not smart. They’re very smart.
It’s not that they don’t know what they’re doing. They do.

They just don’t trust themselves to make the right move.

So what happens?

They freeze.
Or they spiral.
Or they show up in our sessions, eyes wide, asking,
“Just tell me what to do.”

And sure, that’s tempting.

But we know that giving them the answers isn’t the answer.

Understanding why they’re stuck and how to help them shift out of that mindset? That’s where we come in.

Today, we’re digging into:
🔹 Why clients lose trust in their own decision-making
🔹 How to gently move them from dependence to confidence
🔹 And a simple coaching framework that helps build that trust back

They Want Certainty. You Offer Capacity.

When a client is in a fear spiral, it’s so easy to go into fixer mode.
“Here’s what I’d do.”
“Here’s what worked for someone else.”

But the second you do that, the spotlight moves from them to you.

And that doesn’t help.

What does help is teaching your clients how to think for themselves again.

One of the most effective tools I’ve found to remedy this is the Clean Feedback Model.

We’re not trying to be cryptic or withholding help. 

We’re showing clients what they already know and helping them trust it.

How Clean Feedback Works

🟡 Evidence: What did you actually see or hear? (Just the facts.)
🟠 Inference: What story are you telling yourself about what happened?
🔴 Impact: When you tell yourself that story, how does that affect you?

This helps your client separate what’s true from what they’re telling themselves is true.

It shifts the conversation.
It builds reflection.
It brings the focus back to them and their own awareness.

When They Ask You for Advice…

Let’s say a client says,
“What would you do if you were me?”

This is what I would say in response (pretty much word-for-word):

“I could give you my opinion. But I’d really just be making up a story, based on my lens, my background, and what’s worked for me. Is that what you want? Or would you rather figure out what you think, based on what’s true for you?”

That usually gets their attention.

Because they realize that even the coach’s opinion is still just one story. 

And maybe their own story is worth listening to.

You’re Not the Hero

Your client doesn’t need you to rescue them.

They need space, structure and they need someone who believes they already have what they need to move forward.

Rather than handing them a map, you’re giving them a compass.

And honestly, that’s way more powerful than giving them your old decision-making playbook.

Helping a client trust themselves doesn’t happen in one session.

You don’t build that kind of confidence by handing someone a worksheet or giving them “the right answer.”

It takes trust on both sides.

And that trust doesn’t show up just because you booked the session. You’ve got to earn it.

You have to show your client that this is a space where they can say the messy thing and still be met with respect.

Because when they feel safe, they stop looking to you for answers and start looking inward.

That’s where the real shift happens.
And if that takes a few extra sessions, so what?

You’re not here to be the expert.
You’re here to help them remember they’ve always had what they needed.

Let’s help them hear their voice again.

Talk soon,
Heather

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